Dating
The friends who see it before you do
External observers predict relationship outcomes better than the people in them, which is worth knowing and difficult to use.
Dating
Apps, early signals, pacing and knowing what you are looking for.
Dating
Being wrong about your own relationship
People inside a relationship are systematically poor observers of it, in directions that are documented.
Dating
Meeting people when you are past the obvious stage
The structures that produce relationships in your twenties are largely gone by your forties, and replacing them takes deliberate effort.
Dating
Sex and the beginning of a relationship
A subject surrounded by rules with almost no evidence behind them, and a few things that genuinely matter.
Dating
Being clear about what you are looking for
Ambiguity about intentions is the default and it produces most of the avoidable distress in early dating.
Dating
Dating after a long relationship ends
The practical landscape has changed and so has the person, and both take longer to adjust to than most people allow.
Dating
Long distance, and what makes it work
The research is more encouraging than the folk wisdom, with a specific caveat about the reunion.
Dating
Red flags, and the ones people actually miss
The dramatic warning signs are widely publicised. The predictive ones are quieter and easier to explain away.
Dating
How long the early phase lasts
The intensity of a new relationship has a fairly predictable course, and mistaking its end for a problem causes avoidable damage.
Dating
Being single without treating it as a waiting room
The research on wellbeing and relationship status is more complicated than the assumption behind most dating advice.
Dating
What people say they want and what they choose
Stated preferences and actual choices diverge sharply in the research, which explains a good deal of frustration with dating.
Dating
Dating apps and what they do to judgement
The interface shapes the decisions, and several of its effects push against finding what people say they want.
Dating
The first three dates, and what they can tell you
Early impressions are less predictive than people assume, which changes what those meetings are usefully for.