Newlywed Survival Guide: First Year Tips

Newlywed Survival Guide I’m sitting here in our tiny kitchen in [somewhere in the US—let’s say the messy reality of a starter apartment in 2025], January 2026 edition, listening to the fridge make this weird clicking noise that started exactly three weeks after we got back from the honeymoon. There’s a single gray sock—HIS sock—draped over the fruit bowl like it’s claiming territory. I’ve already cried twice today: once because we were $47 over budget on takeout and once because he said “we should probably talk about the thermostat setting” in that calm voice that makes me want to yeet a throw pillow.

If you’re newly married or about to be, here’s the unfiltered, slightly embarrassing download nobody put in the wedding registry spreadsheet.

The Honeymoon Phase Doesn’t End… It Just Turns Into a Cage Match Over Who Unloads the Dishwasher

Everyone says “the honeymoon phase lasts six months to two years.” Lies. Newlywed Survival Guide It lasts until the first time you realize your soulmate leaves dishes in the sink with food still on them and then has the audacity to ask why you’re “being weird.” I learned this the hard way at month four. We had a legit screaming match at 11:47 p.m. because I found a fork with dried spaghetti sauce wedged behind the toaster. Romantic, right?

Pro tip nobody tells you: Buy a second set of everything you both hate doing. We now have two laundry hampers labeled HIS & HERS because apparently “mixing socks” is a war crime in our house.

For more on why small stuff explodes, check out this article from Psychology Today on how newlyweds navigate conflict.

Money Fights Are Inevitable and They Feel Stupid Until They’re Not

We sat down to do our first joint budget like mature adults. I cried. He went silent. The spreadsheet turned red faster than my face. Turns out “I didn’t know you still subscribed to three different meal-kit services” is code for “we’re broke and I’m panicking.”

Real talk: the first year of marriage is when you discover your partner thinks $9 cold brew is a necessity and you think it’s a felony. We eventually landed on YNAB (You Need A Budget) and it genuinely saved us from divorce-by-spreadsheet. Not even kidding.

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You Will Hate Each Other for 10–45 Minutes at a Time and That’s Normal

I once left the apartment at 2 p.m. because he said my new haircut looked “fine” in a tone I interpreted as “you look like a sad golden retriever.” I walked around Target for 40 minutes holding a $4 candle I didn’t need, came home, and we hugged it out while eating cold pizza. That’s the rhythm now. Fight → stew → apologize → eat carbs → repeat.

The Gottman Institute has a whole thing about this—repair attempts are everything. Turns out saying “I’m being a butthead, sorry” mid-fight is more powerful than being right.

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Sweet Couple Eating Pizza · Free Stock Photo

(The classic Target therapy session: wandering aisles, clutching a $4 candle like it’s emotional support.)

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Friends Having Drinks · Free Stock Photo

Sex Changes (and Not Always in the Fun Way)

Month eight we had a two-week dry spell because we were both so exhausted from work + moving + fighting about who forgot to buy toilet paper that we just… fell asleep facing opposite directions like angry bookends. Then we talked about it (awkwardly, in the dark, under the covers like teenagers) and things got way better.

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Couple Lying on Bed Opposite Each Other Head to Head · Free Stock …

You’re Going to Miss Being Alone (and That’s Okay)

I used to have whole weekends where I didn’t speak to another soul and it was glorious. Newlywed Survival Guide Now there’s always someone there asking if I want to watch the next episode or if I moved the good scissors.

Final Rambling Thoughts (Because This Is Starting to Feel Like a Therapy Session)

It’s about choosing—every single stupid, annoying, beautiful day—to stay in the same foxhole together even when one of you is objectively wrong about where the remote is.

If you’re in it right now and you’re scared you’re the only couple fighting about thermostat settings and sock placement, you’re not. Drop a comment if you want. Tell me your dumbest newlywed fight. I’ll go first: he once accused me of “weaponizing the dog’s cuteness” during an argument. I still laugh-cry about it.