Online dating red flags are honestly the only thing standing between me and another six months of “why am I crying in an Applebee’s parking lot again?” level regret. I’m sitting here in my messy apartment in [somewhere in the US – let’s say a random mid-sized city because I move too much], January 2026, rain tapping the window like it’s trying to get my attention, half-eaten DoorDash wings getting cold on the coffee table, and I’m still refreshing Hinge even though I swear I’m done. Spoiler: I’m not done. But I’m getting better at spotting the bullshit faster.
The Love-Bombing-to-Ghosting Pipeline (My Personal Greatest Hits)
This one hurts to type. Met “Travis” (name changed because he probably still follows me) on Bumble last spring. Day 3 he’s already calling me “babe,” sending good-morning voice notes, talking about “our future lake house.” I’m like… okay this is fast but damn I’m blushing in the Starbucks drive-thru. By week two he’s saying he’s never felt this way.
Read receipts off. Story views disappear. Classic ghosting red flag.
I cried in the self-checkout line at Target holding a $4.99 bouquet I bought for myself like some sad rom-com montage.
If someone is coming on way too strong way too soon → online dating red flag. Full stop.
San Diego Gondola Rentals: Black Swan Gondola Company
(A romantic gondola vibe for the overly-sweet early days when you’re blushing in the drive-thru.)
Photo Essay: Ukraine At War – Live and Let’s Fly
Check out this piece from Psychology Today on love bombing if you want the clinical version. I just know the version where you end up blocking them at 2:47 a.m. while eating cold lo mein.
They Refuse to Move the Convo Off the App for Weeks
If we’ve been chatting for three weeks and you still won’t give me your number / suggest FaceTime / anything, I’m out.
Had a guy (“Caleb”) who was hilarious on text. Like stand-up-comedy hilarious. But every time I said “hey wanna hop on a quick call?” it was “I’m so busy this week” → “my phone’s acting up” → “let’s just keep texting, I like this vibe.”
Turns out “Caleb” was using AI-generated responses half the time (I’m pretty sure) and also had a whole fiancée.
This article from Wired talks about how common the AI boyfriend/girlfriend scam is getting in 2025–2026.
Online dating red flags don’t always scream—they just keep you comfortably stuck in the chat bubble forever.
Profile vs. Reality Mismatch That Makes You Do a Double-Take
- 2019 photos when it’s 2026
- “6’1”” but you’re staring at his forehead in person
- “Love to travel” = one trip to Cancun in 2017
- Shirtless gym mirror pics but refuses to show full body in current lighting
I once drove 45 minutes to meet a guy who looked like a completely different species from his profile. I sat in my car for ten minutes debating whether I could just pretend I got a flat tire and leave. Spoiler: I went in, ordered a Diet Coke, made small talk for 22 minutes, then said I had to “feed my cat.” I don’t have a cat.
Catfishing is still very much an online dating red flag.
They Get Weirdly Defensive When You Ask Basic Questions
“Where do you work?” “Why so many questions lol” “What part of town are you in?” “Wow you’re really interrogating me huh”
Sir. I’m trying to make sure you’re not a serial killer. Or married. Or both.
This is a massive dating app red flag. Healthy people don’t mind basic get-to-know-you questions.
Bonus 2026 Edition Red Flags I’m Seeing More Lately
- Crypto/NFT talk before you’ve even met
- “I’m not on social media” but has 47 private TikToks
- “My ex is crazy” stories within first 20 messages (run)
- Profile says “not looking for hookups” but opening line is “wanna come over and watch a movie?”
Look… I’m not perfect. I’ve ignored red flags because the guy had good taste in music or sent me a cute dog pic. I’ve stayed too long. I’ve texted back at 3 a.m. knowing better.
