How to Fix a Broken Relationship it’s too late has been my entire 2025 so far and honestly? I still wake up some mornings wondering if we’re actually making it or just delaying the inevitable.It’s 6-something pm here but I’m already on my second coffee because sleep has been trash lately. There’s rain tapping the window in Faridabad (yeah I’m visiting family right now, long story), the AC is making this annoying click every 47 seconds, and my partner just texted me “u ok?” from 14,000 km away because of the time difference. That little text? That’s progress. Six months ago that question would’ve started World War III.
The advice that made me want to throw my phone
Everyone online is like “just communicate better!” or “date nights!” or some bullshit about love languages. We tried all that. Date nights turned into silent dinners where we scrolled TikTok instead of talking. Love languages? Hers is words of affirmation. Mine was apparently “stonewalling till she cries”. Not cute.
The one thing that actually punched me in the face (in a good way) was this article from the Gottman people about the Four Horsemen. I literally felt sick reading it because contempt was my signature move and I didn’t even realize.
That one night I almost ended it all in a parking lot
October last year. Big fight about—honestly I can’t even remember what started it, probably money or my ex still following me or her mom’s comment about my job. Anyway it escalated stupid fast.
I opened my notes app and typed like six different goodbye messages. Deleted them all. Then typed one sentence: “I hate this version of us but I hate the version of me without you even more.”
Sent it at 2:41 a.m. She read it. Didn’t reply for 22 minutes (felt like 22 years). Then just: “Come home. We talk tomorrow. For real this time.”
That text saved us. Or at least bought us time to try to fix a broken relationship instead of torching it.
Stuff that actually kinda worked (even tho it felt dumb at first)
Not the Instagram couple crap. These are the things I wish someone told me sooner:
- Tiny repairs every damn day – Not grand apologies. Just “hey I noticed you seemed upset earlier, wanna talk?” Most of the time she says no but the fact I asked matters.
- We banned scoreboard fights – You can’t drag up shit from Diwali 2023 when we’re arguing in June 2025. If it’s ancient it either gets a calm Sunday talk or it’s dead.
- Separate sleeping sometimes – Not fighting separate. Just… two nights a week in different rooms so we remember what missing each other feels like. Sounds counterintuitive. Works stupidly well.
- The stupid timer thing – 10 minutes to vent, no interrupting. Phone timer. When it beeps the other person gets their turn. We look ridiculous but the rage actually leaves the room instead of simmering.
- Saying the embarrassing truth – Instead of “you always do this” I started forcing myself to say “I feel scared you’re gonna leave so I’m acting like a dick right now”. Cringey as hell. But it lands different.
More on those little daily repairs here if you want the research version: https://www.gottman.com/blog/bid-for-connection-building-emotional-connection/
The honest part: we still suck sometimes
Last month we had a screaming match about whose turn it was to pay the electricity bill. Twenty fucking minutes. Over 800 rupees. We still trigger each other. I still get defensive. She still shuts down sometimes.
But the difference is now we catch it faster. We say sorry faster. How to Fix a Broken Relationship We choose each other instead of choosing to be right.
Fixing a broken relationship isn’t becoming perfect. It’s deciding the mess is worth cleaning up together.
Okay I’m done rambling
If you’re reading this crying in the dark because your person is giving you the silent treatment, or you’re the one giving it, just know I’ve been both.
